Beautiful People

Dapper Simon ponders the accoutrements of his designer life. Britain might have been changing, but the Doonan family (Mum Debbie, Dad Andy, sister Ashlene and blind lodger Aunty Hayley) remain consistently nuts. But even the most splintered of families can function as a whole and Simon describes his family to classmates when he was 13 years old with mocking affection - which is exactly why "right old alkie" Debbie has reservations.