GAY & LESBIAN TRAVEL STORIES
The Great American Lesbian Road Trip
June 10, 2008Staking out the women’s scene down South and beyond!
But
rooting out the Southern gay scene presents entirely new and interesting challenges, as I discovered during a recent cross-country road trip. You start to think about things like state gun laws, Jerry Falwell, and how to wrestle a redneck into a sleeper hold. Even if your road-weary head is consumed by lascivious thoughts of two farm girls having a roll in the hay, God has bought up plenty of roadside advertising to scare you back in line. Remember, lesbians, like the sign says: “Hell is REAL!”
Coming from Boston, the city that made Goodridge a household name, venturing into the gay scene of the Deep South was a bit intimidating. Fortunately, I came armed with a Rand McNally, a stealthy escape plan, and a healthy libido. So buckle up, girls, and join me on this 3,000-mile trek through a sweltering landscape of split-leaping drag queens, shirt-lifting ladies and two-stepping hotties.
(Disclaimer: This is not intended as a comprehensive guide to any one city’s gay scene. It is more a personal narrative of pitfalls and discoveries that the brave traveler might experience in her search for queer life.)
Destination #1: The 'L' Word - Lexington, Kentucky
"Did I say Louisville?" my co-pilot asked, exactly one mile into our journey. "I meant Lexington. Or something with an 'L.'" Re-route GPS. Tear up research on Louisville gay scene. Follow scent of horse dung and whiskey to Lexington. Allegedly home to the world's smallest church and its biggest crucifix, I didn't expect to find a thriving gay scene in Kentucky. My hunch was right.
Fortunately, Lexington is salvaged by being home to the University of Kentucky and a cute, albeit tiny, downtown area. There you will find the lesbian-owned Mia's, a restaurant/bar that draws a uniquely queer crowd and is known for its stiff and cheap drinks. (Jaeger on tap, anyone?) Its walls a mix of leopard print and vibrant local artwork, Mia's is a cozy joint with a throbbing indie rock soundtrack. Jovial staffers will often join you in rounds of shots, and the occasional drunken patron might serenade your table with unintelligible poetry. When you're not busy ogling the cute co-eds, be sure to take in the eclectic decor - from a collection of Barbie heads to a Rosie O'Donnell doll to an area wallpapered in Mia's photos through the years. If Mia's drinks have you hurting the next day, you can drag your ass back here for brunch until 4 p.m. on Sundays.
Just down the street from Mia's is the closest thing this city has to a gay institution. Formerly a 1940s speakeasy, The Bar Complex has become more of a lipsyncbadly, with drag queens performing the requisite Dream Girls' numbers. The bar features a lounge, an upstairs dance floor littered with mirrors and disco balls, and a showroom.
If Chris Rock and Sam Kinison spawned a Southern drag troupe, it would look something like the contestants vying for the title of Miss Bar Complex. But don't take my word for it.
"That is the most disgusting interpretation of Tina Turner I've ever seen in my life," said one horrified patron. Dude, give a girl a break. So what if she's 14 pounds and missing a few important teeth. What did you expect the 'Ghetto Goddess' to look like?
Credit is due to The Bar Complex, however, for hosting one of the suavest drag kings I've ever seen, and for featuring a drag queen that can perform round-offs in stilettos. But the low-cut J.Lo dress and fake breasts of another contestant could have been done without. "It's called a tran-sex-shew-all," one drag queen explained. "Thank you. I'm from Baw-ston."
"Well, welcome to the South!" another patron chimed in. "Where cotton is king. Honey, I still own slaves." "Now hold my dress," he snapped, sashaying away. Gotta love that Southern humor.
According to some of The Bar Complex's lesbian clientele, this is about the extent of the city's offerings for women. "Remember us," they insisted, as I walked away. "Why?" I asked. "Because we're gonna be famous," one said. "Why?" I wondered. "Because we're gay."
Awww. I didn't have the heart to tell them about a little show called 'The L-Word.'
- Mia's: 120 S. Upper St., Lexington, KY, 859.455.9903.
- The Bar Complex: 224 E. Main St., Lexington, KY, 859.255.1551.
